


Melchi’s Plastic Love

by alesbianthespian



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Crack Fic, F/F, Falsettos AU, M/M, Mpreg, spork children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 19:38:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16001906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alesbianthespian/pseuds/alesbianthespian
Summary: melchior gabor finds himself in quite a bit of trouble.--falsettos au--this was written with help and inspiration from bean





	Melchi’s Plastic Love

*record scratch* 

you’re probably wondering how i got here; dead boyf, drunk neighbors, and a boob obsessed son; it all started almost 3 years ago. 

*3 years ago*

i think i’m gay. but i have a wife and a son. but i’m fucking a dude named moritz steifel that i found in a box on the street. my psychiatrist martha is literally no help. i’m going to her later today but all i know all she’s gonna do is talk about her shit the whole time while i cry and drink hot sauce. 

although my psychiatrist sucks, moritz and sporks help me cope. yes you heard me right; sporks. for a month it sat on my bedside table; haunting me. then i started fucking moritz and after sticking my dick in his booty i began to wonder if i could fit a whole spork in my booty. maybe even two. but before i could try it, wendla, my wife, threw away the spork. 

oh yeah. wendla. so she’s kinda,,,, weird,,,, and i don’t like her. i married her bc we accidentally made a baby. that i suck at parenting. his name is georg. he seems like the perfect son; smart, good looking, and an expert at the piano. however, unlike me, he likes the boob. i don’t like the boob. he is obsessed with the boob. 

i tell martha all of this, but she doesn’t do shit. she’s fucking useless. 

but today something happened that changes everything. georg walked in on moritz sucking my dick and told wendla. she wants a divorce. i guess we’re getting a divorce.

*timeskip to 9 months later*

so wendla and i divorced. and SHE MARRIED MARTHA. i’m pissed. that’s my psychiatrist. and she barely lets georg see me. i took him to a baseball game but he just got mad at me because our team lost. 

moritz and i have been happy for 9 whole months and by happy i means we yell at each other then we fuck. talk about healthy stable relationships. 

today we played chess. i let him win and we kept screaming “mORiTz wINs!1!1!1!1!” he was being rlly obnoxious so i told him to fuck off. now i’m lonely. i’m going to sleep for two years. 

*timeskip to two years later*

well i woke up from my two year nap. i have accepted my homomomosexuality. i am big gay. anyways, i’m still single. wendla and martha are happy together so i have no psychiatrist. i get to see georg on the weekends but he hates me. he loves martha and moritz, so i don’t understand why he can’t love me. 

oh yeah. moritz. i miss him. i’m horny and tired of jerking off but i don’t want anyone else. 

on a brighter note, i made some friends. they are also homos. they’re hanschen and ernst. hanschen called me a bitch one day and it was friendship at first sight. ernst just kinda tags along and makes food. but his food tastes very bad. no one has the heart to tell him though, so we let him be happy. 

*the next day*

i’m at georg’s baseball game. it fucking sucks. he should stick to the piano. the boy can’t even play at all. 

then, WOW, moritz walks up. he shows georg how to swing the bat and georg does GOOD. i want to love him. moritz not georg. but i guess georg a little bit too. 

i talk to moritz and ask him to love me again. he says yes. 

*the next day*

so moritz and i were in walmart and you won’t believe what i found; A HUGE PACK OF SPORKS. it was already opened and had some weird liquid in it but i’m not too concerned about that. i’m very excited to have more sporks!! after two whole years!! so of course, i played with one as soon as i got home. i was right; i can fit a whole spork in my booty whole. 

*about 9 months later*

i have a dad gut, and it’s only gotten bigger. i look pregnant. it’s pretty creepy. 

on a sadder note moritz is very sick. i don’t just like fucking him now i really love him. so i feel very much emotions. i am sadness. moritz tells me “don’t do sadness” but it is hard. i love him and he is probably die. 

*the next day* 

moritz is dead. i am very sad. my boyf. he dead. and i am having unbearable stomach pain. i fear i may have what moritz had. 

*a few hours later*

the pain got bad so i went to the hospital. i learned that i am indeed preggo and doctors will yelling at me to push. there was a big pain in my booty hole. i don’t think it’s good. and then, before i could process what happened, i died. 

i am now a ghost. i watch as the doctors take the thing i pushed out my booty hole. it looks like a plastic baby, just like a spork. it’s beautiful. then, martha walks in my room. 

she says “my wife wendla has died. that is my dead wife’s ex husband. i demand the child. “

the doctors give martha my spork baby. 

then she speaks again. “i will name you..... moritz. “


End file.
